The streets outside your window overflooded
People staring, they know you’ve been broken
Repeatedly reminded by the looks on their faces
Ignore them tonight and you’ll be alright
We’ll cast some light and you’ll be alright
When we have a shield of armor, it’s supposed to protect us from the world. It’s supposed to keep the “wrong” people from getting inside and doing any harm to you and your heart. The problem is, some people never take that shield of armor off. Some people, keep it on twenty four hours a day seven days a week, and it detours you from ever allowing the “right” one in.
A table for two, but place mats for three? This is a story about a life seen through the eyes of a waiter. A waiter(tress) is able to channel and filter a lot of personalities every hour, of every day. They see what other’s are too distracted to acknowledge is right in front of them. They see the young aspiring business professional, making a sale over a BLT, they see the husband on Monday with his wife over prime rib, and Friday with his mistress for a late lunch. Nothing gets past their eyes, yet so many don’t acknowledge what it is they see.
I can’t express to you the level of ignorance I feel towards people that never admit to liking “pussy” music. My whole life, I’ve played in Metal and Hardcore bands and absolutely LOVE both styles so much. Thinking about playing shows, and watching people beat the ever living shit out of each other is just such an experience. The funny thing is, when you get a chance to talk to anyone in a metal or hardcore band, they will tell you that all they listen to is non/heavy/angry music. ESPECIALLY if they are on tour.
Bobbing for apples in the freezing cold is never quite a good idea. Last night, over at my grandparents home, my lovely Aunt Linda (aka, the wicked witch of the east) pulled out some old childhood movies and brought us all back to a time where things were so easy and so simple. Life had not hit us yet, or if it did, we were in no way capable of understanding it. I realized, that there was a profound impact that was happening, as I watched myself do a swan dive, to grab a mouth full of apples. What was the meaning of it? What could I possibly be taking from this video? Well, a lot actually.
Stress Management. How do you deal with it? What’s your escape when things pile up and have you wanting to pull the last hair out of your head? I can tell you that self improvement is a daily ritual and not something that you can “casually” come in and out of. You have to work day in and day out to be bulletproof and dodge the shit out of stress, and find the avenues that will bring you up as opposed to dragged through the ninth layer of hell.
Don’t let your past be a crutch for your future. A lesson easier said than done. This is something I’ve really had to sit back and observe, to see how I’ve let myself become. So much from our past, molds and shapes us in the present day, but it can not, and I refuse to let my past DEFINE me. The difference is, not allowing old habits to surface through to your present life.
Learn from your elders, they have been through EVERYTHING and will give you the best advice. When things seem to just not be going right, or life just seems to have gotten the best of me, I call upon one of the greatest woman ever to walk the face of the earth. My grandmother. My grandmother is the shortest little spark of Italian energy, and she will kick the ever living shit out of your grandmother I promise. When I say that she’s gone through everything, I truly mean that.
When you draw a line in the sand, you’re left with two options. You’re left with two paths and feelings which will bring fourth a new experience for better or for worse. I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m tired of drawing the line and just want to make a move where my heart feels I should be. Have you ever looked back on things that you didn’t do and wish you had? I have been so focused on growing my business, growing my name and growing my brand that I stopped growing emotionally. I found solace in working 24-7 that I’ve neglected people and things in my life that I cherish more than I could begin to explain. I’ve been on a warpath for the past two years, being extremely selfish and one minded. I hate that I’ve done this, and hate the people that I’ve hurt along the way. But, I’m human and I will make mistakes, monumental mistakes and will have to live with those choices. I don’t live in the past, and I’ve never really lived for the future, I live day by day to try and make each day the best I possibly can. One of my clients, who has become my second mother, said some really inspiring things to me yesterday, and it’s kept me up as most things have as of recent to think. If you haven’t caught on, I do most of my thinking and planning when the world is fast a sleep. She said “Mike, you work so hard in your business and try to do so much for everyone else, but seem to fall short when it comes to you, and what you really want. You will always be able to find work, you will always be passionate about helping people, but don’t build this amazing career with a house filled with fake furniture.” In other words, don’t live life as an illusion filled with materialistic shit that doesn’t mean a god damn thing. Talk about a smack in the face. I have to leave my work at work when I leave the gym, and focus on the people and things that make me happy. I’ll work just as hard in my business as I need to in life. The line in the sand has been drawn.
Tear It Down
Onward and Upward is the name of the game. Today, I decided to make my “New Years Resolution”, as opposed to January 1st. I also need to state that I HATE New Years Resolutions.