Consistently Inconsistent


“In life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.”

Being inconsistent is and has been a truly challenging part of my life. I always start out with the best intentions, but somehow end up getting lost along the way, or in essence, overwhelmed and anxious about feeling stagnant.

It’s a cruel and miserable feeling to constantly feel like you’re mind is racing a 1,000 mph, yet your feet are glued to the floor, never making a positive move forward. It’s a truly challenging experience to have to go through, especially being in a relationship with someone else.

My life has been a roller coaster ride for about 3 years of emotional wear and tear, some of the greatest times of my life, and some of the darkest times of my life. But with all of those feelings, I’ve finally found a place within myself to truly focus on what’s wrong with me and why I continue to sabotage myself.

My heart belongs to a girl that unfortunately, timing is just not on our side. She’s truly my “soul-mate” even though we’ve had some rocky roads to come into each other’s lives, I know there is a deeper meaning for each other to have met.

Sometimes you can want something so bad that you stop focusing on yourself, and when that happens, you find a part of you constantly being lost within the mix of life, and never truly be able to approach or be able to handle the intensity and love of the person you cherish and hold close to your heart.

Deciding to take a step back from each other to focus on each other’s personal growth is hard in and of it’s self, but knowing that with every challenge comes great triumph, being selfish and focusing solely on our personal journey’s is what is right, no matter how sad and hard it is.

Living with consistency, setting my emotions and thoughts everyday, doing the things that truly make me happy, and not letting my schedule control me, always having control of my own destiny are the things that must be prominent in my life.

I don’t understand why I push things that make me feel good and happy to the side when I get over whelmed. It’s not something I ever intend to do, but my patterns have recurred over and over time and time again without any true definitive change. Why is that?

Well, I know that when I put myself on the back burner, my eating habits shift, my training get’s less productive, I don’t hit Yoga as hard and with meaning as I know I’m capable of. When I introduce elements of these parts of my life, top that with finally battling with my ADD and DEEP rooted therapy, I’m only destined for great things.

I know I have the biggest heart in the world, but I just want to find a way to line my mind, body and spirit together and truly understand my purpose within this beautiful life. My heart beats to the sound of a violin right now, but with time and personal growth, I’ll understand what’s truly in this heart that makes me who I’m destined to be.




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