Don’t let your past be a crutch for your future. A lesson easier said than done. This is something I’ve really had to sit back and observe, to see how I’ve let myself become. So much from our past, molds and shapes us in the present day, but it can not, and I refuse to let my past DEFINE me. The difference is, not allowing old habits to surface through to your present life.

For example. I’m a person that for one reason or another has a hard time opening up sometimes, like a lot actually. I’m a surface guy and can “fool” just about anyone to thinking that I’m “ok”, when I could be a total mess ;) Nothing in the world is a better feeling then letting go of the fears and watching the wall that we can build so high, crumble.It’s taken me about 8+ years, to finally accept a lot of things from my past, acknowledge them, deal with them, and allow myself to actually feel.

It’s opened me up so much, that the past 3 1/2 weeks, I truly don’t feel like the same person. I mean that in the best way. Thoughts and emotions have filtered into my brain, and out through my pours, leading me down a new path and a new road that I’ve never knew existed. I realized, besides for being self destructive for years, that I’ve not allowed myself true happiness. I’ve not allowed myself to fully commit and “be in the moment” and just be honest about my stupid fucking feelings. I’m so glad I’ve been able to finally come to this conclusion, because now that I’m fully aware of the shit that I do, that can lead me back down to old habits and emotional “crutches”.

I will always catch myself before I ever let myself be like that again. I remember someone said to me that they would need 1,000 jack hammers, to break down my wall to get me to just open up. Well, I’m happy to say that I don’t need 1,000 jack hammers, I don’t even need one. Life has thrown a new curve ball at me, and I’ve finally “seen the light” and will continue to grow as a person, and “live in selflessness”. #pma

Times Of Grace “Live In Love”

Tear It Down


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