“If we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall, stare into the past and forget it all”
I’ve lived a life of madness for as long as I can remember. At some point, I should not have been allowed to walk among the other humans as my mind was a lost cause.
Wreck less subconscious lead me down to places I would have otherwise not wanted to see. It lead me to places that these two eyes have stored in my mad hatter of a brain, and swallowed the key to digest the ancient copper, and release the sense of perpetual wrong doing.
Crooked furniture seems to make sense as I glance around the house in which I’ve chosen to live. There seems to be a constant attraction to new things, but the fact remains that you need to realize what you have, before you go searching for something else.
In my life, I’ve never been able to shift my focus and understand the parallels I’m current living in. This world has a lot for me to explore. This world, has so many avenues to go down that if fully considered, could drive the sanest person to a not to sane place.
It’s okay because this is what has transpired to open the doors of my life that have been barred shut. No matter what I tried in the past, these doors remained Off limits.
I could sit down and discuss my thoughts with a piece of broken glass, but the reflection was to hard to verbalize anything with. The reflection was of two different people, giving me two different sets of advice, and two different protocols to take the next step.
The problem was, one of those two had horrible intentions, and knowing that and acknowledging what was to come if I ventured off with that person, brought a nervous feeling all over my body. I may go as far as saying it was like having the devil on one side, and an angel on the other.
Nothing good was to come from option 1, but why was I still tempted? Why was there a tug on my will to go with him? It was a moment that I dropped everything in my mind, I dropped everything in my life and decided to take a drastic measure and change.
I gave option 1 a ticket for a non stop train the fuck out of my life. When he got on, I remember the words that were spoken “you’ll be back. You will see me again” I laughed at that because I knew I would see that awful person again, and I welcomed it.
Not because I ever wanted to be that person, or have that person control a part of my life. But for him to see how much I’ve changed, and take in all that he’s had to give me, and shove it back down his narcissistic throat.
I’ve lived in madness for most of my life, I’m glad I found a piece of perfectness in myself, and in somebody else to move forward with my life, and try and plant the seeds for something truly remarkable.
It’s days like these that I am thankful for my wrongs. It has only made my choices for the rights that much more real.